Ever since I can remember, I was always afraid of fire and people shouting loud near me. Not fire as in the one you cook with, or light wood for heat. The type of fire that engulfs a house and kills you. People shouting near me scares me. It’s the reason I don’t go to concerts. I just feel something will happen.
I have also always feared the ocean, yet I love to be in it. I love the feeling of it rocking me and the soothing and relaxing process that you experience when floating. Whenever I have the chance to, either at a pier or on a boat, I love to stare into the water. To think what’s down there, as much as it scares me, something still holds me towards it with awe. I almost tend to drift away and wish for things to happen. As if something magical would appear and touch me.
I would wish that someday, I would become a mother. Tried so many times, in vitro, I tried it all. It just did not happen. No matter how much I wished, I stared into the ocean; I will never hold my child in my own hands. Even as my time for motherhood might have come and gone, I still find myself staring into the ocean wishing. Wishing for magic.
Maybe I was never meant to be a mother. Maybe I drowned in a past life; maybe I drowned with a child or as a child.
I now believe that when we die, we come back as someone else, or something else and have a chance to learn and do things correctly. Maybe I never knew this growing up, but knowing it now, I try to be the best human being I can, so that in my next life, my new human form or whatever form I take will have it a little easier.
I also believe we come into this life seeking the truth of what life is. It is probably the most asked question on earth “What is the meaning of life?” – If we do not learn what we came here to learn, our next life is meant to teach us what our purpose is and so it’s repeated until we get it right.
One day, a friend of mine invited me to a past life regression party. If you don’t know what it is, A Past Life Regression Party (PLR Party for short) is when you and your friends come together to explore a past life you have lived previous to this one through group regression hypnosis. Crazy, I know. I went to it very skeptical because I have never been hypnotized. When it was done, and I walked out, I couldn’t believe what I had just experienced.
While lying there fully relaxed, I didn’t even realize I had gone into a trance. When I awoke from it, the woman doing the hypnosis (a psychic) asked me what I had seen. I started crying and shaking because what I had seen wasn’t very good. I told her I saw a cemetery with all young adults and children who apparently were dead, just standing there. No expression, just complete sadness.
She told me I had died many times in my past life, all at young ages.
I had gone to a different psychic about 6 months prior, and she told me I had died twice at birth, I had died in a concentration camp while pregnant, I had died in a speakeasy while everyone was yelling and screaming and people were being trampled, and I was shot and killed and the place was set on fire with me in it.
During another different psychic session, I was told I died as a young girl by drowning. I was a child of a wealthy family and that they were well known and loved In the church and community. I had seen this when I was in my trance, so I knew it was true. I saw myself under the water struggling to come up.
They all told me that when we come back, we usually pick what family we are born into so we can right wrongs from the past.
I am sure you think that this can’t be true, or maybe you do believe. But this was three separate times, with three different people.
All of this has transformed me and has driven me to seek out, read as much as I can, and take the time to sit and listen to what the universe has to say. It also wants me to be the best human being I can be in this life.
So if it is true or not, I guess I will never know until the day I die. I just hope it makes it easier for my next life.